Category: Blog
Rewording the World and Reframing the Conversation
Scottish (Celtic) poet, Kenneth White, tells us it is time to “rediscover the earth” and to begin “rewording the world.” What does this mean? We all use words. We all think we know how to use words. We all believe we are masters of communication because we do it all day, every day. We do…
(8) Giving Up Hope: Memories, Fantasies, and Plans
Hopelessness means that we no longer have the spirit for holding our trip together. We may still want to hold our trip together. We long to have some reliable, comfortable ground under our feet, but we’ve tried a thousand ways to hide and a thousand ways to tie up all the loose ends, and the…
(7) Retelling our Old, Old Stories: Reframing our Toxicity, Fear, and Shame
Fear is always lurking in our lives…[and so] we train in opening the fearful heart to the restlessness of our own energy. We learn to abide with the experience of our emotional distress. Pema Chodron In reality, we are inter-abiding because we are all inter-related. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, we Inter-Are as we all…
(6) These Dry Bones: Creatively Re-exploring our Past with Compassion and Practice
Our liberation begins with the irrevocable belief that we are worthy to be liberated, that we are worthy of a life that does not degrade us but honors our whole selves. When you believe in your dignity, or at least someone else does, it becomes more difficult to remain content with the bondage with which…
(5) The Lie of Individualism and the Distance Between You and Me
“You are nothing and I am something, and I am all the more something because you are nothing. And thus I spend my life admiring the distance between you and me.” – Thomas Merton It only takes one moment, one look, one harsh word to trigger shame, and that one trigger can send us into…
(4) The Poison of Perfectionism, Bruno, and Miracles
I am not a perfectionist. Thanks be to God. That must be some kind of special torment. Now, I am often accused of being a perfectionist, but just because I have high standards for myself doesn’t mean I am a perfectionist. I believe in excellence. I believe in discipline. I am grateful to have experienced…
(3) Demonic Fear and Shame: Purity, Imitation, and Magic
In the hands of unhealthy religion the Gospel of Fear and Shame is provided the perfect toxic environment to fester and spread, turning “us” into “them,” guilt into shame, and fear into hatred. Then, we build massive systems of fear and oppression and call them “salvation” and “freedom” programs for our souls, which really only…
(2) That’s the Fear Talking
“That’s the fear talking.” I could feel myself sinking deeper into the couch, whether physically or metaphorically, I could not tell. My therapist had been on a mission, it seemed. No more coddling. She was still talking, but I could barely hear her. “You’re going to have to push through the fear to get to…
INTRO: The Gospel of Fear and Shame: Reframing the Conversation about Religious Toxicity
Religion, at its best, is designed to offer us healing and an invitation into wholeness, an undivided life. Religion, at its best, is a program of release to take us out of the prison of fear and the bonds of shame. At its best, all religion is a very specific technology of freedom communicated to…